If you're anything like me, I know you have trouble managing, coping and understanding your stress. Stress and raising kids unfortunately go hand in hand. But what if I said there was deeper reason that was feeding your stress? Deeper causes that make that stress cycle even harder to break free from. When we have a stressful moment our bodies and minds are designed to cope. We go into our fight and flight mode and determine our course of action. All of this happens as a voluntary and automatic reaction to the stress. But I bet you find times when your response seems exaggerated. Or that the stress level seems way too much for you to cope. Perhaps there is something that triggers the emotions of guilt, shame, overwhelm and "not good enough" that often accompany a stressful event. Understanding all of this is key... what if I said...
Your self limiting beliefs feed your stress cycle
Any of those old story reels you run in your head are feeding the stress... and ultimately making it harder for you to break the stress cycle. I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not qualified enough. I'm too shy. I could never achieve that. I'm worthless. I'm fat. I'm insignificant. It's my fault. All of these and more are the stories we have adopted in our lifetime. Events, both happy, traumatic and just every day, create a self limiting belief within ourselves. And those self limiting beliefs are what feeds out stress, overwhelm, depression, anxiety and the rest. Anytime when your vibration is low and you fall into a negative head space, this opens the doors for our self limiting beliefs to run the show. After all, in the dark spaces is where they live. Now, I'm all about feeling the feelings. So for me healing from the toxic stress I was submitting myself to was more about understanding the source than never ever feeling like that again. Which would be nice. But let's be real... even the bad and yucky emotions need to be felt. When I understood there was an underlying theme to my stress I did this...
- I paid attention to the feelings instead of shutting them down - I honoured the opportunity to see it in this light - I looked at what event or situation seemed to always trigger the same response - Then I dug a little deeper to find that one "tag line" of self limiting belief
Once I had gone through this process I had tools. I took the power back and understood what was feeding the stress cycle and how I could break it. Because understanding yourself is the most powerful tool you could ever possess.
I go into more detail on the subject of self limiting beliefs and other ways to help understand and manage your mum-stress in my book Living with Grace: a mum's guide to self discovery & reconnection amid the beautiful madness of parenting.
Available in paperback on my website, Amazon or Booktopia or on Kindle.