Do you feel like you’re beautiful just as you are?
Do you feel like your weight and physical attributes determine your worth?
I know you’d hate to admit it, but I’d say you’re like me… and the rest of us. No we don’t feel beautiful just as we are and that is because we focus on the physical being a measure of our worth.
For as long as I can remember I have battled internally and also externally, with myself about my body. Thrashing my body at the gym or bashing myself with negative self talk. Body shaming myself to the max. This behaviour was pre-kids when my focus was on my work and myself… pretty simple back then. Yet once I started a family, little did I realise this negative association with the way I looked would become so much more difficult.
And that isn’t so much because my opinion of myself got worse. More that the environment and the world we now live in has made the physical such a huge benchmark for whether we are good or not.
Everything right now is revolving around our physical appearance, it’s nearly impossible to escape it.
Social media is swarming with Insta mums and their perfect bodies, this potentially unachievable goal for so many of us leaving us feeling less than and dejected. Now it’s an every day practice to be getting injectibles and “fixer-uppers” instead of that being just for the rich and famous. There are tonnes of weight loss programs, shakes and miracle powders promising that you too can look just like her in 6 weeks.
But even more so, it’s sad.
I don’t have any issue with Insta mums and their amazing bods. Nor do I have an issue with botox, implants or miracle shakes. Each to their own, seriously no judgement here.
What I do have an issue with is the driver behind all of this. When did the physical take such an incredible leap and become our focus? When did we shut our eyes for a moment and have the landscape of social media and society in general change to be all about our bodies?
I know it’s always been around, like I said I’ve been battling this so a lifetime. But I’m sure you’re feeling me when you’re scrolling your feed… looking for something to pick you up and be a feel good hit. But you’re left empty and probably feeling worse and inadequate after the barrage of body obsession.
How do any of us or any of our children for that matter stand a chance when we have these standards in our face every day? When we will be free enough to have a moment of clarity and actually connect into our body… instead of forcing a belief onto ourselves?
Body connection is what we are lacking.
Body appreciation, self love, self acceptance, worthiness… this all comes when we are able to connect into our bodies.
Why aren’t we teaching our kids to connect and listen to their bodies instead of worrying about how perfect their makeup is at dance class… or how immaculate the filter is on their selfie?
How do we connect in to our bodies? How do we teach our daughters and sons to do the same?
Every day we take a single moment to listen. Take a breath, feel into your heart and wait. In that moment be grateful that the body you reside in has life. Be thankful that despite perhaps some health challenges… you can still take a breath.
Everything else outside of that moment is irrelevant. Loving ourselves post-babies, embracing our wrinkles, feeling strong again, vibrant, worthy and sexy will all come after we give our body the respect it needs, to acknowledge all that it does for us. The important stuff like that when we sleep it’s busy keeping everything ticking. While we move throughout our day it makes sure we take a breath without ever having to think about it. While we play with our children it is fighting bugs and protecting us from harm. When we eat our food it assimilates nutrients to feed our brain and entire body.
Perhaps if we can focus on the miraculous nature of our body if only for that one moment of our day, over time, the other stuff about feeling worthy because we are beautiful with a great body will seem so frivolous.
Perhaps in time we will realise that all along we were beautiful, strong, curvy, lean, sexy and perfect in our own unique way.
And when that moment comes we are no longer a soul residing in a body but a body moving in time with it’s soul.