We’ve all been there, stuck in our own heads. Re-living the conversation, the incident, that moment we can’t seem to let go of. The hurt is what holds it within us, but it is ourselves that help it remain there, holding fort and letting it make a cosy home within our hearts.
It’s hard to accept that we do this to ourselves, but we are human beings filled with love, emotion and beautiful imperfections. We hold on to that hurt not to cause ourselves more pain, but simply because at times we fear letting it go.
We think that letting go means we forgive someone’s behaviour, or that an incident was acceptable or we are somehow justifying the wrong that was done by us. Letting it go means we need to face all these false ideas we have held onto. Letting go simply means we want to be free of the burden that comes with carrying that on our shoulders.
If you don’t have to ability to consciously let it go then you are still sitting stuck in your old belief patterns, your old ways of thinking… you’re still doing things how you always have done them. But in order to move forward and support your future, you need to start paving the way for a new perspective. A new way of thinking, living, being.
When you hold on to the past, you ultimately limit your future.
The greatest service of love you can give to yourself is the ability to let go anything that does not serve you, that does not make you feel like the best version of yourself. Holding on to the past has no affect on anyone other than yourself. You harm yourself by letting the resentment and hurt find a home in your heart. You holding this within you will never change the outcome of what happened to you, nor will it change anyone else’s perspective… and it definitely will not help you see things clearer. It clouds your judgement and keeps you held in the past. What happened can’t be changed, no matter how much you were hurt. However, your future can be changed. If you actively let go you are re-shaping this scenario to see it from a different perspective. You’re giving yourself the chance to grow and learn from this.
Living in this moment now is really all that we have. Our past is behind us, our future waiting before us… but here we just have now. Letting go can be so much simpler than we think, despite having emotional attachment it is possible to free yourself of that hurt without forgetting those feelings. We can still honour the experience and how we feel without being willing to be held hostage to them. There is a big difference between acknowledging feelings and giving them permission to control you.
On a daily basis write down what you want to let go of, every night before bed think of this as your soul cleanse. You don’t need to know how it will be healed, you don’t need any answers in fact, you just need to be willing to release it. Be willing and surrender. Continue this process every night, repeat it again when a person or situation triggers you again. Keep repeating and practicing the art of letting go. It sounds like a bit of work, but each and every time you will feel lighter and soon enough you realise that that pain may still be there but now it’s just a memory. You still have emotion but it does not consume or overwhelm you. Ultimately this is our goal, not to numb the human experience but to be able to work with it, weave through it and help this human experience evolve us along the way.
For every experience of hurt, betrayal, disappointment, abuse and pain there is a speckle of light within. That speckle can only be polished of the dirt and darkness surrounding it if you choose to set it free, to set yourself free.