Dear Stay at Home Mum
I hear your prayers at night, the ones you say sweetly and quickly under your breath at the days end. Exhausted, broken, feeling like a shell of yourself but holding a heart full of memories. The prayers are the ones you feel you dare not say. That maybe wanting for more than an amazing life with your children is too much. That even saying a prayer under your breath makes you feel guilty for wanting a little more. And you will feel guilty no matter what, because you’re a mum.
I see you twinge inside when you have thoughts about needing more than this mundane existence. Picking food off the floor, changing nappy after dirty nappy, running from one task to the next, one crying baby to the next child that won’t stay in bed. This side of being a mum isn’t fun… no amount of laughs and giggles from them will change that fact.
I feel the heaviness in your heart when you feel under appreciated from your partner, your kids even. Like maybe no one fully understands what you do each and every day. What you sacrifice. What you need but don’t speak up for.
I know that longing in your heart to spend time with those you love. Being with adults who get you, who actually don’t want to talk about kid stuff or who will listen to you moan about how painful parenting is with zero judgement and only a knowing and loving smile.
I see the disappointment in your eyes when you look in the mirror. Feeling uncomfortable, ashamed, like maybe this body isn’t yours. Another goal for the month has passed unachieved, you feel deflated but aren’t sure how on earth to achieve the goals you set with so very little time for yourself.
But I know you Mumma…
I know that despite your yearning, you always be the best Mum you can be. You give them your everything. You should be proud. Not everyone in this world is made to be a stay at home mum… it’s fucking tough and we know it. It’s not all coffee dates and credit card splurging. It’s definitely not always creative Pinterest crafts and joyful play dates at the park. We know the real deal with being at home. And it’s hard to say it because we think it means we don’t love this job. That we aren’t grateful to be here with the kids, to not miss out and be a part of the memory instead of hearing about it.
Of course we are grateful. Blessed. That gratitude lightens the load for our sometimes heavy hearts.
But mumma, I see you and I hear you.
You keep on dreaming, keep wishing for something bigger and brighter and don’t let anyone tell you can’t or won’t have it. The brightest of all your dreams is what lights the way for your children’s lives in the future. They will see a mummy who loved being a mum but also loved herself enough to know it’s okay to seek more in her heart.
Being a mum can’t fill all elements of who you are, it’s a huge and beautiful piece of the unique puzzle that makes you. It all can work in harmony together if you give yourself permission. To put everything in to being a mum and leaving no room for you, no space for you to dream, live big, be creative, share and love… that is doing yourself and your little ones an injustice.
So tonight when you say those silent prayers, do it with passion and conviction. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself about what would truly make you happy. You can have so much in life living alongside your beautiful role as a mother. You just need to give yourself permission to place you with equal importance to the rest of your family.
Feels uncomfortable, selfish, frivolous?
It should… any leap of faith that is worth it will feel like this.
Now it’s your time to leap.
I've just released my first book LIVING WITH GRACE: A MUM'S GUIDE TO SELF DISCOVERY AND RECONNECTION AMID THE BEAUTIFUL MADNESS OF PARENTING. If you're feeling a little lost within yourself, overwhelmed by mum-life and looking for some practical and honest advice you can start applying to your life today, then my book may just what you need. Jump over the to the BOOK tab on my website to find out more and order your copy.