Yesterday something incredible happened. The world was forced to stop and look while women stood their ground. Millions of people worldwide, a large contingency of them women, stood tall for what they believe in. And we all noticed. I like many, had goosebumps of inspiration seeing the images, hearing speeches and reading blogs while human kind stood up for not only their rights but what they believe in. It gave me hope. It reminded me of what I already know about women and how incredible we already are. But I needed that reminder, it was so timely and poignant because lately I have been fed up with women.
I am so fed up. Fed up with the women in this society. And here is why…
Women have such enormous capacity to love, nurture and be compassionate. We are strong beyond our wildest dreams, determined and savvy. We can sacrifice more than we thought possible. We are in a nutshell, pretty kick ass. But we are wasting it. I feel frustrated, in fact at times, infuriated by how women direct all their incredible talents. With such capacity to nurture, something that is ingrained so deeply within a female’s psyche, we seem very keen to be bitches. Yes I’ve said it, we can all be such a pack of bitches.
Whatever happened to sister hood? Standing by your girl? All those women that fought for us to be equal and have these rights and now we turn on our own sisters and tear them down?! W.T.F ? Now I know we aren't haters all the time, but we have all been there. We have slipped into competitive mode and judged another woman. We have delved into the drama with friends and gossiped about another mum. We have either done it or been on the other end of this disconnection between women.
It doesn’t matter what type of female you are or how you live your life we seem to think it is okay to pass judgement. That judgement is turning into something much nastier now. Forums and social media show you exactly what I’m talking about here.
You’re a stay at home mum… don’t you want something more for yourself than coffee with friends? You’re a working mum… how dare you leave your babies at home!
You don’t have kids… she is so career driven and self centred. She must haven’t have a maternal bone in her body.
You don’t have kids… you would never understand what we mums go through.
You enjoy wine time and a night out with friends… you’re neglecting your family’s needs, grow up.
You purchased that brand of pram? Ummm, I heard terrible reviews about its safety.
You haven’t shed baby weight… she is letting herself go. You are confidently rocking your body… surely she has had work done, where does she dump her kids at gym time?
You and your husband seek counselling... I've heard their relationship has been on the rocks for ages now. Did he cheat? Is she a control freak?
You have depression and anxiety... She has become so withdrawn from the world and paranoid, she needs to just stop feeling sad.
What is going on here ladies? Tearing shreds off other women for their choices, for our perception of their world and how they chose to live. We see highlights from others lives, we really have no idea about behind the scenes. Yet we take these snippets and make determinations and our own opinions on them. It is their choice, their life and no one has the right to judge that. But we do. And at times it can be so nasty. That nastiness I feel like is going against all the beauty that a woman holds inside her.
So where is it coming from? Insecurity. You only tear someone down to bring them back to your level, to a place where you feel you can compete and can feel comfortable with the comparison. But why can’t we build each other up without the fear of that meaning we are less? When we see those around us thriving, living and blossoming it is contagious. It makes us want to be the best and biggest version we have bubbling within us. Instead of using our energy to bring everyone down to help justify our own insecurities, we could be putting that energy into creating beauty. Giving out the love that you wish someone would return to you.
We are all on the same team here.
And if women can unite in bigger numbers, we become an unstoppable force, just like we have seen this week. For all those moments when you have been united with the gals, it’s a feeling unlike any other. A friendship with your fellow beauties feeds and nourishes a special part of your soul. I know we all have this within us, we have been in that moment, we have been blessed with a magical friendship, a kind word from a stranger or unwavering support from family. We just need to be conscious of the presence of that strength within us. That strength can fill our insecurities and self imposed guilt with light. When we shine light on those ‘imperfections’ within us, we can see we all have those imperfections. Every single one of us have the little girl hiding in the corner within. But we need to nurture that fragile girl. We don’t need to try be the taddle tale, the judger and the pessimist to others around us. That’s not our place. Never was and never will be.
Our place is in caring and loving. I see it in the beautiful friends I have. Supportive, always listening and offering advice. I see it in the beautiful networks of women I have around me always lifting each other up. I see it in all the women who band together to fight for what we believe in. This week there have been marches of solidarity for women… we are strong and united when we feel targeted and demeaned by others. Yet in this same week I still see malicious behaviour from one woman to another on social media. Such contrast baffles me.
But I do see it, the love is there.
The bond and unbreakable love for each other is there. If I see it within my circles so strongly it is within yours too. And this week, on a global level we have all seen it so beautifully, so I know that of course we have hope.
When we are called to action from that force within us we become something incredible. I’ve been reminded and I’m thankful I was here to witness it. If we shine love on our insecurities and treat all other women as we are one and all the same, we are creating individually unstoppable women. Supported, nurtured, believed in and encouraged. I have faith that when women can put their passion behind what they believe in we will move mountains.
I’m on a personal mission to empower women, to connect us all.
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