Being a mother can't be everything for me
Time is precious as they say. That took on a whole new meaning when we had kids. A meaning sometimes I wish I now didn’t understand. Something that now means for me trying really hard every day to find time for me because as demanding as being a mum can be and no matter how incredibly wonderful it is... it can't be everything for me.
We all get the same 24 hours in a day all the optimists will say. And, yep, no arguments here from me. But ‘mum time’ doesn’t work like normal time. Everything is either way slower than you would like it to be… or in a surreal world the day flies by and you got absolutely nothing done. Well maybe you got out of your pyjamas today and I guess sometimes you just gotta take that one as a win.
I’m a stay at home mum and I’m sure there are still a bunch of ill informed and totally wrong (sorry but you are) people out there that think I’m living the dream. Time for coffee with friends, floating around shopping centres, DIY craft projects at home, peaceful playtime with the kids and a long uninterrupted break when my kids nap all at the same time and for a long time. Couldn’t be further from the truth. Time is not in abundance when you’re a stay at home mum any more than when you’re a superstar working mum balancing work, school drops offs and still doing dinner. We’re all super stars… super stars who have no time.
So outside of the mile long list of to dos that seem to accumulate, you know the basic stuff, cleaning that pen off the leather lounge that’s been soaking in for weeks, getting a full grocery shop done, laundry, laundry and laundry, filing and paying the bills. Outside of those things I actually do want time for me. Time I just never feel like there is enough of. This is when I would probably bribe anyone to steal one of their 24 hours to add to my tally just so I can achieve something, anything… albeit I may even just get some damn sleep!
But how we make that intention manifest into something real is the age old question… one I doubt I’ll ever solve. One I think maybe mums of yester-year had all sorted when they didn’t fill their life with busy, when they didn’t try and be everything to everyone and the criteria for a superstar mum was all about the simple stuff that mattered. But one thing I do promise is that I will try always to make time for myself, for my hopes and for anything that keeps my heart full. I’m a better mum when I can find time for myself. I’m a better wife when I’m not whinging about my jiggling butt. I’m a better friend when I don’t complain about hard the kids are every time we meet up. I’m a better person when I nourish my soul that has so many parts - the biggest and best of which may be so full of love with being a Mumma… but it’s not the only part.
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